caring.

you have heard that saying that says,

"sharing is caring!"

just picture an old woman, back permanently bent,

with a wrinkly face and red lipstick.

she's wiggling her boney finger at you.

telling you that.

well, i think the meaning of that has changed.

when i think of people sharing,

i picture little kids letting a little girl play with a toy.

when it comes to adults or teenagers?

it's not the same deal.

you share your things because you feel sorry for the person without it.

you let them borrow your shoes cause theirs don't fit the occasion.

feeling sorry, and thinking they don't fit the part,

doesn't sound like caring to me.

i believe people have lost the meaning of the word.

so, caring.

how do you tell someone you care for them without saying it?

say someone you know says, "nobody cares about me."

you can't respond and say, "i care about you!"

because then they'll turn it down. "you're just saying that cause i said that."

so, i'm in this situation.

having to show someone you care, so they don't have a mental breakdown.

i can't share my things with them, we're two different people.

my mom gave me a simple solution.

do things for them, little things, to make them know you care.

compliments, appreciation, the works.

but it's not as easy as you think.

"can i pick that up for you?"

"here, i'll do it."

"this was great!"

they'll notice your sudden change in attitude.

it has to be more subtle.

and i'm not very good at being subtle.

on a completely different subject entirely,

i don't like being told what to do more than once.

i heard you the first time.

my brain analyzes what you told me to do,

and it thinks of what i want to do,

and it nuzzles the task right in the middle of some free time.

my parents have come to realize this.

friends, on the other hand, haven't.

so if you're reading this now, now you know.

you push me to do something, i won't want to do it.

simple as that.

let me do it on my own pace, and it will get done.

it may get done right before the deadline,

but it will get done. i can promise you that.

another completely different subject entirely.

youth conference is in a week.

we are going to delta, giving backpacks to homeless people.

what would make you not want to help hobo's?

helping someone that is in less circumstances than you...

that makes you feel like a million bucks.

because for once, you don't feel so cocky or prideful.

i'm so excited to be doing this.

i'm blessed to be able and help someone of lesser stature.

hopefully raising them up just a teensy bit.

what means a little to us, means a lot to them.

now, that's what i think is caring.

doing something for a complete stranger that doesn't make yourself,

or any other persons,

lose a bit of their feelings.

only to be giving someone else the world.

i have to ask myself this question now - 

do i really, legitimately, truly care?