journal.

when i was a small child,

ten years ago,

i got a journal from a scholastic book fair.

i loved it.

it had green and blue and purple dragon skin on the outside,

and the pages had little dragons on the inside.

i took it with me everywhere i went.

at least, i tried to.

and i wrote in it as often as i could.

sometimes i would be a simple,

"i had a great day today. goodnight!"

others, i confessed my love for various boys.

or, i wrote something completely random.

this journal was my best friend that i could tell everything to.

and then i lost it.

approximately three years ago.

i had no idea where it went, and i thought i left it somewhere.

i actually cried over this journal.

what do you think i found today?

yesterday i made a decision to take down my posters.

everything that was on my wall is now gone.

all of my taylor lautner posters, zac efron...

in the garbage. literally.

and i wanted to move my bed.

so i rotated it a different direction and pushed it against the wall.

guess what was under my bed?

my journal!

i read back through it today.

when i last wrote in it,

i had just started high school.

amazed, i wrote a new entry.

and just bore out my soul to it.

about my life, like i usually did.

told it about this blog that basically took it's place.

i want to share with you the first entry of mine,

spelling errors and all.

Today Buck and Julie

came. And we put up Haloween

stuff. And today was Daddy-

Doter day. We carved pumken-

s. And played Games. We had so

much fun! And Brendi came over.

Haha, So did Conner and Braden. an-

d Harly my next door naber &

my best friend. I had so much

fun today I had to lahf Ha-

Ha-Ha-Ha.

Date 12-2001 Oct.

simple and to the point, eh?

i can't believe i used to write like that.

i wrote about my chicken pox,

my first bra, how my hermit crabs died,

how raquel warburton was my best friend,

how i went to wyoming and all that drama,

all of my family stuff,

when i got my first computer,

all the details of all the guys i liked,

and i wrote a lot of goodnights.

also i drew a few pictures.

maybe i'll scan them in sometime?

whatever. i thought this was pretty great.

but sadly,

there are only a few pages left.

i can't decide if i want to keep it and write in it later,

like after i've gotten married or something.

and then give it to my kids when they get old enough to write.

so they can write on the last page.

or i could just finish it off now.

i feel like i need to write something important in it.

nothing like, "oh, good day. goodnight."

it needs to be very memorable.

maybe october twelfth, 2011? 

i would have written about prom,

or my first school dance.

but i didn't have it at the time.

now that i do, i don't know anything worthy enough to be in it.

i love my journal. always will.

and i can't wait for my husband and my kids to read it.

and realize how awesome my childhood really was.

before technology, before blogs.

we all had journals.

not a diary.