since when

did you like skanks?

tissues.

crying for four hours straight.

someone stop me.

dale johnson.

a substitute teacher that was at my high school

for my entire high school career.

he was one of the nicest guys i knew.

whenever a teacher was gone,

everyone would say,

"i hope we get dale!"

he was one of the sweetest guys.

amazing. wonderful.

love love loved him.

he'll be very missed.

rip.

who's not dead.
oh well, dedication to him.
people who start rumors are cruel and terrible.
i literally cried over this man,
and he's still living.
i'm wonderfully happy that he's still around.
but whoever started that rumor...
you're :P

100th post in 2011.

so i just watched this movie called 

'something borrowed',

and it was incredible.

very good movie.

but what caught me the most...

was how i related to the main character.

i'm always doing what other people want.

i can't say no.

and i'm one of those people that go,

"oh, he's too good looking for me."

so i'll direct him to one of my friends or away from me,

despite my feelings.

and then i'm just feeling like i don't have any friends right now.

with this whole haunted house deal,

i'm busy every night.

and to begin with, i hate making plans.

i'm socially awkward and i'm almost never comfortable.

home-body extraordinaire.

and i don't feel emotionally ready for any type of commitment.

i feel that i'm at a moment that i really need to find myself...

the problem is that i don't really have the time to do so.

i just wish things could be different.

i wish i could be a different person.

that's what i've been wishing for at 11:11 recently.

while i'm laying in my bed at the haunted house.

and this is the only way i can let out my feelings.

because i don't have anyone to talk to

that won't judge me on my life.

or talk more about themselves than about me.

as selfish as that sounds,

i want someone that i can talk to about me.

instead of listening to all of their problems,

and whatever.

that's why i write blogs.

this blog can't talk back about itself,

and it just listens to me.

i really want to see the lion king in theaters.

but i have a feeling i won't be able to.

just my luck.

bye.

i miss the 90's.

you know you're a nineties kid when...

you remember watching rollie pollie ollie.

you always wondered what animal arthur was.

you've seen the lion king over five times.

you grew up watching vhs, not blu-ray.

you hated joe for replacing steve on blue's clues.

you know what wayne's world is.

you remember honey, i shrunk the kids.

you've seen every rugrats movie ever made.

hilary duff was your disney queen.

you grew up watching playhouse disney.

you know who darwin from the wild thornberry's is.

you grew up watching cow and chicken.

you grew up watching jimmy neutron, not planet sheen.

you grew up watching that's so raven, not ant farm.

you actually went outside to play.

you remember slap bracelets being banned from your school.

you know who zenon: girl on the 21st century is.

you owned cabbage patch kids.

you can name each of the powerpuff girls.

you remember courage the cowardly dog.

you know who kim possible is.

you know who mojojojo is.

you want candy, not somebody to love.

you remember writing everything in gel pens.

you still know all the lyrics to barbie girl by aqua.

all the science you learned was from bill nye, not school.

you remember sea monkeys.

you know where "bring in the dancing lobsters" comes from.

you've read every junie b. jones book.

gas was under $1.50.

you remember the land before time.

you think space jam is the best sports movie ever made.

you watched the ORIGINAL spongebob squarepants.

you remember the proud family.

you recognize the rugrat's theme song anywhere, anytime.

you still have a furby hidden somewhere in your attic.

barney didn't have drugs in his tail.

you remember drake bell as totally kyle.

you owned a skip-it.

you remember chalk zone.

you remember bear in the big blue house.

you once owned a bop-it!

you remember watching the brave little toaster.

you grew up watching mike's super short show.

you can still do the macarena like a boss.

i just want to look at all the kids today and go...

"when i was your age..."

ten years old.

i wrote this letter to my mom

when i was in oklahoma for a summer.

love is not about

stuff it is about happy

is crying about what you get

and loving one another

i love you mommy

the end

i was such a sentimental kid. (:

nine eleven, two thousand one.

tomorrow is september eleventh.

i still remember the day that the planes hit the buildings.

eight years old, backpack on my shoulders.

ready to go to school, just watching the news.

then it happened.

the camera man had to run into a coffee shop of some sort,

just to get away from the smoke cloud.

i was only eight years old.

everything didn't seem like such a big deal.

but as i've gotten older, i have realized the tragedy.

i watched the documentary today,

about people that survived nine eleven.

it was heart breaking.

i learned that people were actually jumping from the buildings.

they would rather fall all those feet to their death,

instead of getting burned to death.

then, at the end of everything,

all of them still lived with the horrors of it all.

just because they survived, didn't mean they can live.

then, at the end, obama came on and announced the death

of osama bin laden.

i started crying then.

because it took us that long to find the man responsible.

it was such a sentimental moment for me.

just because i feel like my days are going by without reason.

without any purpose.

and i could die any day.

i could die tomorrow, and the world would keep spinning without me.

but the people i loved would get hurt.

so i sent out a massive text,

and i know it may seem insensitive,

but i meant it to every person.

thank you for being in my life. <3

these are the responses i received:

ditto back at ya!

anytime(: thank you for being so awesome.

aw. thank you as well.

you're welcome!

haha no problem. 

awh, you're welcome.

why you're welcome! thank you for being in my life sweetie.

ok?

is that a suicide text?

thank you for being so awesome! love ya!

awwww love you britt.

why would you say that!

i hope i continue to be in it (:

what? was that to someone else? or me?

i love you. i really needed that.

of course sweetie!

i'm so glad for all of them.

thank you all for being in my life.

i appreciate it.

this is true.

just keen people.

we met by a piece of paper.

nothing more, nothing less.

i had never heard of you before in my life.

but we had one thing in common -

that piece of paper.

once i heard your voice,

i grew infatuated with it.

you sounded handsome,

and i was vulnerable.

i was searching for something i didn't need,

but i wanted.

i started to like you.

open up to you about everything,

even though i didn't know you.

didn't talk to you in person.

you were goofy, funny.

comic relief.

things you did creeped me out.

still do to this day.

my friends know you as creepy.

for better interests, i didn't ask you to be my sweetheart.

but someone else did.

and you forgot about me.

that hurt the worst.

after all i thought we had,

and then you forgot about me.

i cried over you, and my heart kept you out.

but i went with a different sweetheart,

and i wouldn't change that for the world.

this sweetheart was someone i could rely on.

a rock, someone who wouldn't destroy me.

then you came back to me.

almost begged me for a second chance.

and i gave it to you.

i let you talk to me.

we actually hung out, and it was awkward.

you were one of the most awkward people ever.

i didn't like spending time with you,

because you made me feel awkward being with you.

i knew you liked me more than i liked you.

because i can't like someone over texting.

i need to know them in person.

and you...

i knew too well over texting.

it was hard to put two and two together.

then, you told your family about me.

and they decided i was bad.

talking about someone you hardly know,

telling people that person doesn't even know,

and giving them an automatic negative outlook me...

was a very low move.

because now, i can never change that first impression.

the one that made you stop talking to me.

that hurt, once again.

and my sister told me to never talk to you again.

and i wasn't going to.

until your brother,

someone who would end up ruining our friendship,

told me to talk to you again.

so i did.

for him, not for myself, but for you.

because you were a wreck over me.

which is seriously... silly.

i couldn't relate to anything you talked about,

but i liked talking to someone.

it seemed like someone cared enough to talk to me.

even when i was in a bad mood.

then, we just started fighting over everything.

and all i saw was a negative person that argued with me for no reason.

my interest was lost.

then, i had other boys that were catching my attention.

and you started seeming that much better.

you had stuck with me for this long,

maybe there was a chance.

i pictured our kids, getting married to you,

spending time with your family.

because i liked your family, and they seemed to like me.

i started to like you again.

but there was one thing you lacked...

experience.

and you got jealous over things you shouldn't have.

it pushed me away to someone with experience,

that took the reins.

and things got out of hand, and ruined a lot of things for me.

now you told your family about it,

and they hate me, and i know you will always resent me for that.

but you confessed your love for me.

and that pushed me away once again.

your feelings are overpowering my feelings,

and you're not giving me room to breathe.

or to even think about things,

because you do all the thinking for me.

i tell my mom everything about you,

and she, as a little sneak,

tells my stepdad everything about you.

do you know what he said to me?

better scoop up that boy,

not many have that type of dedication.

that's just it.

i'm not ready for that type of dedication.

i do care about you,

and now you know how i was feeling throughout this whole thing.

you're someone who i'll always remember,

and tell my kids about.

right now, i'm not ready for your intensity.

when i know you've been on a few more dates,

and figure out what you like,

by dating other girls,

then i'll be motivated when you say i'm still your type.

even if you don't like me anymore.

i'll always be here for you,

to talk to.

i'll try to be better to talk to.

just for you.