it's been a long while since i've posted in you.
it's kind of crazy thinking the life i've been through.
the last post i should just erase, because, well, it's not true.
that goo was just a poison for my heart.
he used me and abused me, in every sense of the words.
i can't believe i put myself through such things for a whole year.
but, you live and you learn, right?
i'm picking myself back up, slowly.
he caused so much anxiety in me, that my heart is so distant.
i feel so much happiness, but my mind won't allow it.
there's always something wrong -
something to worry about -
a tone in someone's voice that isn't positive.
i'm so happy, my life is going so well.
but there's always something 'wrong'.
my therapist says it's all because of the goo,
making everything so intense and so hard for me.
i'm only now starting to realize the horrible things he did to me.
the reasons why i feel like something is wrong.
it's all because of him.
when in fact, there isn't anything wrong.
i have an amazing job, making crowns at a dental lab.
it's casual, i have a wonderful boss,
and it's easy enough to not think about when i go home.
my best friends are living their lives to the fullest,
and i get to see them get so mature and happy.
the best part about it all, is definitely my love.
he's so kind, so sweet, and oh so handsome.
i told him just today, that i needed to go through all the bad,
just to get to him. and that i was worth every second,
to have him in my arms at the end of the day.
he forces to me relax, forces me to calm down.
reminds me that there isn't anything to worry about,
he's probably nicer than me, even.
but the most important thing, is we make each other happy.
i guess that's where my problem is,
why can't i just be happy?
